In this episode of ‘celebrating small family businesses,’ hosts Natalie and JJ, the dynamic sister duo behind the podcast ‘Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver,’ share their heartfelt journey of growing up in a tight-knit, small-town family in Tennessee.
They discuss their upbringing, accentuated by strong familial bonds and community involvement, which deeply influenced their current roles as podcasters and businesswomen.
The episode highlights their grandparents’ impactful legacy as community-minded small business owners, the sisters’ seamless transition into launching a successful podcast, and the invaluable lessons learned from working together despite their differing personalities and professional backgrounds.
Through candid conversations, they underscore the importance of passion, authenticity, and maintaining strong family relationships in both personal and professional realms.
We had a very insightful and entertaining conversation with these two dynamic personalities and are proud to share that here.
You can find more information and their podcast and their larger mission at https://www.confessionsofareluctantcaregiver.com/ or
Connect on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ConfessionsOfAReluctantCaregiver
Follow on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/confessionsofareluctantcaregiver/
Watch the video version on YouTube at https://youtu.be/BL9MOjX5IcQ
Visit the Kuder Consulting Group website to learn more about additional ways we support small family businesses in their journey. https://kuderconsultinggroup.com
00:00 Welcome to Celebrating Small Family Businesses
00:43 The Story of Three Sisters from Tennessee
01:41 The Legacy of Family Business and Community Service
05:05 Childhood Memories in the Family Business
13:29 Launching a Podcast: From Idea to Reality
20:49 The Impact of Personal Stories on Business Success
25:13 Embracing the Personal Brand in Business
28:57 The Essence of Family Businesses
28:57 The Power of Branding and Community in Business
29:29 Navigating Privacy and Publicity in Family Business
30:00 The Rich History and Emotional Ties of Family Businesses
31:21 Sisterhood and Business: A Dynamic Duo
33:13 The Challenges and Triumphs of Working with Family
38:30 Understanding and Respecting Different Work Styles
41:09 The Importance of Communication and Relationship Maintenance
43:18 Balancing Family and Business: A Personal Journey
50:18 Reflecting on Family Legacy and the Future
John and Connie: Hi and welcome
Speaker:to another episode of celebrating
Speaker:small family businesses.
Speaker:And today we are
Speaker:celebrating Natalie and JJ.
Speaker:Now you've both got different last names.
Speaker:So I rather than mess up,
Speaker:I just went with first.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh,
Speaker:we're totally fine with that.
Speaker:John and Connie: Okay.
Speaker:And Natalie and JJ are hosts among
Speaker:other accomplishments are hosts
Speaker:of a podcast called Confessions
Speaker:of a Reluctant Caregiver.
Speaker:which we have had the honor of being
Speaker:guests on as well as listening to some.
Speaker:So it's a very worthy cause that we are
Speaker:happy to, to celebrate and two sisters
Speaker:yes.
Speaker:Two of three sisters.
Speaker:So let's start there.
Speaker:I'm an only child.
Speaker:I, well, you uh, what's it
Speaker:like being three sisters in, a
Speaker:little town in Tennessee was it?
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: a little
Speaker:town in Tennessee, I always
Speaker:jump in and say, I'm the oldest.
Speaker:Natalie would normally tell
Speaker:you that Natalie is the middle.
Speaker:And then we have a younger sister, Emily.
Speaker:So,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: She's the baby.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: three of us.
Speaker:Yeah, she is the baby.
Speaker:And, uh, it's.
Speaker:It's been fantastic.
Speaker:Uh, I think we, we always say we're
Speaker:thick as thieves and always have been.
Speaker:Uh, we always have had one another's back.
Speaker:It's kind of been interesting to
Speaker:always have a best friend or, or worst
Speaker:enemy sleeping in the bed beside you.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:So we always shared a
Speaker:room when we were little.
Speaker:So a big room.
Speaker:Uh, so it's, it's been fun.
Speaker:We were raised in a small
Speaker:town in Tennessee and, uh,
Speaker:have, I think it was good.
Speaker:Natalie, what do you think?
Speaker:I mean, we grew up pretty good.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I mean, I
Speaker:mean, yeah, I'm like, yeah, I mean,
Speaker:I think we had, um, we were very
Speaker:fortunate to be surrounded by family.
Speaker:All of our family lived near each
Speaker:other and, um, we are, we had, uh,
Speaker:Our grandparents were influential
Speaker:in the community because they were
Speaker:small business owners and we're
Speaker:from rural east Tennessee.
Speaker:And so, you know, typically they
Speaker:were, you know, my grandmother played,
Speaker:uh, piano in the church and, and
Speaker:typically, you know, small business
Speaker:owners are typically leaders in small,
Speaker:especially in rural communities,
Speaker:business owners, uh, typically are
Speaker:leaders in other parts of the community.
Speaker:And, uh, that was no
Speaker:different with our family.
Speaker:And so we very much grew up with a
Speaker:attitude, uh, of service and, um,
Speaker:rather it was a good service in, in the
Speaker:business side of the house or serving
Speaker:other individuals in our community.
Speaker:It was very important to our grandparents.
Speaker:And, um, that's something that.
Speaker:Is it was instilled in us
Speaker:and that we carry over today?
Speaker:John and Connie: Wow, I'm so
Speaker:glad you brought that out.
Speaker:That is a dimension we really haven't
Speaker:talked about, but yes, the connection
Speaker:between, especially in the smaller
Speaker:communities, between, yes, the business
Speaker:owner and the, and their activity in
Speaker:the community, they, they couldn't be,
Speaker:, invisible or, or disliked and expect to
Speaker:have a thriving business, could they?
Speaker:So it really, they go together.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.
Speaker:And I think there was also the
Speaker:aspect of social responsibility.
Speaker:I know we've talked about that.
Speaker:That was really important for our family.
Speaker:It was a poor coal town.
Speaker:There were coal mines, uh,
Speaker:up in the mountains above it.
Speaker:And so part of that social responsibility,
Speaker:I think, even before that was a,
Speaker:a, Uh, really politically correct
Speaker:or politically term political term
Speaker:was, um, they always made sure that
Speaker:the community was taken care of.
Speaker:Um, it was, the hardware was in business
Speaker:for, uh, almost 50 years prior to that.
Speaker:My grandfather actually owned a
Speaker:business that was a, uh, a restaurant
Speaker:that was adjacent to the hardware.
Speaker:And, um, people always fed, but the
Speaker:hardware in particular, they sold
Speaker:kerosene, they sold coal and, uh,
Speaker:and that type of community, um.
Speaker:Money comes in in particular in the
Speaker:spring because people have crops in
Speaker:addition to their jobs in the mines.
Speaker:And so when people needed fuel, kerosene
Speaker:or anything like that for the winter,
Speaker:and they didn't have enough money
Speaker:for it, we had a cigar box and they
Speaker:would just go tear a piece of paper
Speaker:off the register and write down, you
Speaker:know, John and Connie, and they owe
Speaker:$4 for kerosene from back in December.
Speaker:And then in the spring they would
Speaker:come in and pay the, the cigar box.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah, we ran that
Speaker:our grandmother they ran credit and so and
Speaker:it wasn't like credit like people
Speaker:think now so But you know, everybody
Speaker:knew everybody and there was a lot a
Speaker:level of of taking care of each other
Speaker:I mean our grandfather used to drive
Speaker:people to go vote and um, they thought
Speaker:that was so important people had the
Speaker:right to vote and um, so I mean You
Speaker:Especially in rural communities, um,
Speaker:they tend, you knew your neighbor,
Speaker:you knew a lot about your neighbor.
Speaker:And, uh, and so, um, but you, you did.
Speaker:It was the right thing to do.
Speaker:I think that's really where we, we
Speaker:come from is a right thing to do.
Speaker:mentality.
Speaker:John and Connie: Beautiful.
Speaker:Absolutely beautiful.
Speaker:That is so cool.
Speaker:So did you guys work in the, either
Speaker:the restaurant or the hardware
Speaker:store or both when you were young?
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yes.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: but no.
Speaker:Uh, so the reason I say yes and no
Speaker:is I will, I have no qualms in saying
Speaker:I was my grandfather's favorite.
Speaker:So I, there's 11 cousins
Speaker:and, we're all very in ages,
Speaker:but we used to be dropped off.
Speaker:at the hardware because our
Speaker:parents both worked and, , we'd
Speaker:be dropped off and I would help.
Speaker:So I learned to count on the cash
Speaker:register when I was, um, four and five.
Speaker:I would, I would do, uh, get to
Speaker:ring up folks who would come in
Speaker:and that's how I learned to count.
Speaker:And so, uh, and then I would count checks
Speaker:in the back when my grandfather was
Speaker:closing up and, and it was, you know, it
Speaker:was nobody, it wasn't a perfect childhood.
Speaker:Nobody has a perfect childhood.
Speaker:I don't believe in those.
Speaker:I think everybody has normal
Speaker:things that ups and downs.
Speaker:We are very, our family, every
Speaker:Sunday, our family had, um, Sunday
Speaker:dinner after church together.
Speaker:I mean, we are very traditional.
Speaker:Uh, family, and I don't want to
Speaker:say southern family because I think
Speaker:other families across the U.S.
Speaker:can relate to that is that it's when
Speaker:families live closer together because
Speaker:you didn't have as many distractions,
Speaker:um, technology and and people now
Speaker:people move farther away, whereas
Speaker:in rural communities, you, you stay.
Speaker:And I mean, if they, you know, we
Speaker:lived outside of Knoxville, Tennessee.
Speaker:And so, you know, we had one aunt who
Speaker:lived in Knoxville and that was the
Speaker:big city that was like 20 minutes away.
Speaker:And so we're like, Oh, they're more
Speaker:affluent, like, you know, culture
Speaker:kind of feel like not even like rich.
Speaker:It was just, you get to see something
Speaker:bigger than the rural area that
Speaker:we were in, but we were very,
Speaker:very blessed to be a part of it.
Speaker:And again, it goes back to learning,
Speaker:like, How I live and how I manage as a
Speaker:supervisor in my workplace and how we
Speaker:operate businesses ourselves is based
Speaker:on how our grandparents and my aunts and
Speaker:our uncle, who also ran the hardware,
Speaker:um, and all of our cousins worked there.
Speaker:Um, I never got paid.
Speaker:I just was there torturing people.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Well, you know, but
Speaker:I think it also taught, you know, I say
Speaker:for us, it taught us a lot of customer
Speaker:service skills.
Speaker:You know, we were kind of the greeters,
Speaker:but, you know, it's, um, it was amazing.
Speaker:You know, Natalie talks
Speaker:about learning how to count.
Speaker:I worked with my grandmother,
Speaker:kind of at the desk area.
Speaker:That's where she did invoicing,
Speaker:you know, or she learned to order.
Speaker:But it's interesting what as females
Speaker:as the girls, because there's three
Speaker:of us, we were the girls, you know,
Speaker:I would go and watch how they shook
Speaker:paint on the old paint shaker.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Put your
Speaker:finger on it and it's like,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah, and I'd love
Speaker:to watch how they made keys on the old,
Speaker:so I'm, I'm that technical mind and they
Speaker:would go out and shovel coal or sand.
Speaker:And like Natalie said, our cousin,
Speaker:uh, our cousins, the boys, they
Speaker:all worked there during the summer.
Speaker:Some of them worked after high school.
Speaker:It was just, and again, we don't want
Speaker:to say it's a perfect family, but
Speaker:it's everybody learned their lessons.
Speaker:Um, it was, you know, I learned
Speaker:how to weigh things on a scale by
Speaker:weighing nails, you know, , it was
Speaker:a good childhood back when , I don't
Speaker:think people will ever see what that
Speaker:kind of childhood is like anymore.
Speaker:I think it'll be hard to find
Speaker:that, but we learned a lot that we
Speaker:absolutely carry over with today.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh, and I straight
Speaker:up got in trouble for mixing feed.
Speaker:So I'm going to tell you, we had big
Speaker:barrels of feed that people would come
Speaker:in and I would just move all the seeds
Speaker:from, I'm like, cause it was a big scoop.
Speaker:And my uncle, again, I was the favorite.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I got
Speaker:away with a lot of things.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: It was.
Speaker:It was grass seed and she would be
Speaker:mixing like Kentucky the bluegrass
Speaker:with different turfs and we got
Speaker:in a lot of trouble for that.
Speaker:It was mainly Natalie so, but
Speaker:she could run really fast,
Speaker:John, Connie, so it was okay.
Speaker:She was little.
Speaker:John and Connie: It It was
Speaker:just really fun to play with
Speaker:that big scoop, right?
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes!
Speaker:There's
Speaker:John and Connie: And she was the favorite!
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: There
Speaker:was something so therapeutic
Speaker:about mixing all the seed.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: We We just let her
Speaker:think that she was the favorite, but I
Speaker:think it also taught us to be in awe of so
Speaker:many things that we take so many things.
Speaker:We, we were so lucky because when we
Speaker:went to school, there were so many
Speaker:things that we were able to see.
Speaker:And it's kind of funny things
Speaker:like they had a very large
Speaker:safe and the, in the store.
Speaker:It was in the store.
Speaker:And so to be able to see the
Speaker:mechanics of things like that,
Speaker:and to watch, we were in awe.
Speaker:We had a Coke machine on the front of
Speaker:the street and it had Nehi grapes in it.
Speaker:And so, and Yoo-Hoo chocolates and Upper
Speaker:10's, like the back when RC was the thing,
Speaker:and we would get to go open the And so.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: in it.
Speaker:Nobody told me that that was like a job.
Speaker:And I was like, can I put the cans in?
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.
Speaker:And so I think we lived in a state
Speaker:of awe , and didn't realize how
Speaker:great our life was , but it was,
Speaker:and we learned so much from it.
Speaker:And I love to share the stories
Speaker:when we were kids, because it was,
Speaker:it was, we, we laugh and we say it
Speaker:was a Camelot of sorts for a small,
Speaker:well, it was a large East Tennessee
Speaker:family, but it was a very good life.
Speaker:It's a childhood that I'll look
Speaker:back with a lot of fondness.
Speaker:John and Connie: That's wonderful!
Speaker:And, Gosh, I hear so much in there, but
Speaker:those family values that you were saying
Speaker:you learned so much from about customer
Speaker:service and how it influenced you later.
Speaker:And I've heard this story from
Speaker:multiple people is sometimes they,
Speaker:they pick, they learn things from a
Speaker:work culture, you know, that working
Speaker:in a, just happened to get into a
Speaker:place that really nurtures people.
Speaker:Sometimes it's family, but, but
Speaker:the, the people that go on and,
Speaker:and, start their own businesses
Speaker:and do well, seem to have something
Speaker:that they're drawing on like that
Speaker:from their past.
Speaker:And all those, different things
Speaker:of weight, practical, transferable
Speaker:skills, like weighing nails.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Well, and,
Speaker:and it was the hangout for The older
Speaker:people, so the hardware was the was, uh,
Speaker:people would come and sit and hang out.
Speaker:And that's when people would hang
Speaker:out and you'd have all these older
Speaker:gentlemen who might be retired.
Speaker:They come by and they'd hang out.
Speaker:And I can remember that's
Speaker:where I learned to really.
Speaker:You children learn by
Speaker:observing what's around them.
Speaker:And so, and that's, again, I, I never
Speaker:knew a stranger, but I got to, I got to
Speaker:stand on my little stool and work the cash
Speaker:register and take money and count change.
Speaker:And then, but I can remember.
Speaker:Listening to the gentleman setting
Speaker:around this huge is the only there
Speaker:was this big giant furnace right
Speaker:in the center of the hardware.
Speaker:And that was the way that
Speaker:the hardware was heated.
Speaker:And so everybody would
Speaker:come and sit around it.
Speaker:And you'd hear them telling these stories.
Speaker:And that is something like.
Speaker:I just, I love, I have, I'm
Speaker:very endeared to older people.
Speaker:I've always been very endeared
Speaker:and have just a high level
Speaker:of respect for my elders.
Speaker:And that was solely because of the way
Speaker:we grew up in the church, the way we
Speaker:grew up in the hardware, being surrounded
Speaker:by, and you understood, like the next
Speaker:steps, you understood what you were
Speaker:doing at various ages, because we truly
Speaker:grew up in an intergenerational setting.
Speaker:And, and I think that is something that
Speaker:is also missing from our culture now
Speaker:is really learning from one another.
Speaker:And JJ was older than
Speaker:me, but I had cousins.
Speaker:I mean, we ranged probably
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Uh, Risa was
Speaker:in probably kindergarten and
Speaker:our oldest cousin had graduated
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: So we got about
Speaker:15 years
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: from high school.
Speaker:So about all of
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: And then all of our
Speaker:aunts and uncles, our mom is one of five.
Speaker:Our dad was one of five.
Speaker:And so, and family is just, again,
Speaker:we're a very typical rural community.
Speaker:You, your family doesn't typically leave.
Speaker:Everybody lives within
Speaker:a 10 to 15 mile radius.
Speaker:And that's exactly where we were.
Speaker:Yeah, what a different world.
Speaker:Yeah, it really was.
Speaker:It really was.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I got
Speaker:to say, I kind of liked it.
Speaker:I mean, I favored it.
Speaker:So I don't know if I
Speaker:could go back there for
Speaker:just a little while.
Speaker:I think I'd be okay with that.
Speaker:John and Connie: Yeah, I think
Speaker:there's a lot of people that
Speaker:would agree with you on that.
Speaker:Simpler times and,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes.
Speaker:John and Connie: and,
Speaker:and tighter community.
Speaker:So that thread that you just
Speaker:mentioned about, the, revere for,
Speaker:for older folks, uh, that seems
Speaker:to lead into where you are now.
Speaker:So you guys, at some point, I
Speaker:mean, you've had careers, right?
Speaker:You, you've each had your own
Speaker:career, separate corporate careers.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:And, and then sometime, I want
Speaker:to say a little over a year ago.
Speaker:So I, I, I discovered you watching you
Speaker:speak from a stage, uh, in January at the,
Speaker:uh,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: don't
Speaker:know how we got there,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: When it's
Speaker:John and Connie: But you were, you
Speaker:were celebrating a year, about a year
Speaker:at that, I think at that event, which
Speaker:is, that is a big accomplishment,
Speaker:by the way, in the podcasting world.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:A hundred episodes in a year are both
Speaker:big milestones that say You're ahead
Speaker:of like, I think 95 percent of the rest.
Speaker:Um, according to this one guy, he
Speaker:said, you know, that's his cutoff.
Speaker:He calls it pod fade.
Speaker:Most, 97 percent of podcasts
Speaker:don't make it a year.
Speaker:And if you're starting a podcast to make
Speaker:money, you're probably better off just
Speaker:going and starting another business.
Speaker:Odds wise, you know,
Speaker:but like purely from the So,
Speaker:having laid all that groundwork,
Speaker:sorry, I'm, I'm preaching.
Speaker:Um, how did you guys
Speaker:decide to do a podcast?
Speaker:And that's your business
Speaker:today, together, right?
Speaker:Your family business.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So, um, JJ and I, JJ's background
Speaker:is in corporate finance.
Speaker:And my background is in human services.
Speaker:Both of us have noticed
Speaker:the service piece of it.
Speaker:, we never left service.
Speaker:, and so I think that's really and I
Speaker:know, even though JJ was in finance,
Speaker:we won't hold that against her.
Speaker:Uh,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: true.
Speaker:I was a banker for almost 20
Speaker:years, but even after, yeah, no, I
Speaker:left, uh, and I'll, I'll interject
Speaker:that in there that after I left, I
Speaker:was downsized out of my corporate
Speaker:job and thought the world had ended.
Speaker:And then I decided I, with my
Speaker:partner, with my husband, we
Speaker:decided we'd open our own business.
Speaker:He was retired.
Speaker:And from that, I, uh, So far,
Speaker:we've been in five small family
Speaker:businesses and sold two, but we just,
Speaker:there was something in there that
Speaker:said, why go back into corporate?
Speaker:And I always stepped out of larger banks.
Speaker:I got out of the corporate
Speaker:environment with large banks and
Speaker:always went back to a community bank.
Speaker:So I think that's really
Speaker:important when we talk about.
Speaker:Smaller communities, family businesses.
Speaker:That's where I always found my heart
Speaker:because I knew the people better.
Speaker:I knew the owners and it
Speaker:meant something more to me.
Speaker:Um, but the road that led us to this is,
Speaker:uh, I think Natalie goes back to servant
Speaker:and I think a really personal, intimate
Speaker:sort of feeling about what we owe people.
Speaker:But that was what, two years
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: ago?
Speaker:Yeah, it was, it was, um, in
Speaker:2022, it was, um, my husband was
Speaker:diagnosed with head and neck cancer.
Speaker:And so we, the sisters, who I always
Speaker:refer to the sisters, not Catholic, we're
Speaker:Baptist, , The youngest sister came and
Speaker:Emily came and moved in to my house and
Speaker:stayed with my animals because we, my
Speaker:husband and I temporarily moved up to
Speaker:New York city for his cancer treatments.
Speaker:And then when we came back, um, felt
Speaker:like something was off, couldn't
Speaker:figure out what was going on.
Speaker:And in talking with JJ and Emily about
Speaker:it, they said, you know, we also have
Speaker:these same feelings because at the same
Speaker:time, uh, that I was going through and
Speaker:working with Jason to go through the, his,
Speaker:cancer treatments, which were successful
Speaker:, we were also caring for our mom who
Speaker:has been living in with Parkinson's
Speaker:now for over, well over 20 years.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: 20 years
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: And our dad had
Speaker:passed away, , 13 years ago , this year.
Speaker:And so we supported our mom
Speaker:and we were going through all
Speaker:this stuff at the same time.
Speaker:Cause our mom was young.
Speaker:Our mom was at that point , In
Speaker:her sixties, late, well,
Speaker:she's still, she's 69 now.
Speaker:And so I felt like there
Speaker:was something going on.
Speaker:Once we identified ourself self
Speaker:identified as caregivers, um, and
Speaker:talking to, and we learned more about it.
Speaker:It was like this whole world
Speaker:opened up and I saw on Facebook and
Speaker:advertisement to learn how to podcast.
Speaker:And I was like, that's a great idea.
Speaker:And I've done radio in the past.
Speaker:I'd, I'd looked at, it.
Speaker:Potentially going on to do radio.
Speaker:When I was younger, I had actually wanted,
Speaker:to be, uh, on radio doing counseling
Speaker:and decided not to, uh, not to do it.
Speaker:My mom was mortified because I kept joking
Speaker:with her just to get a rise out of her.
Speaker:That was going to be Dr.
Speaker:Ruth on TV or on, on radio.
Speaker:And she was just like, mortified.
Speaker:Notice that good Baptist background.
Speaker:And so you can tell I'm the middle child.
Speaker:But I said, Hey, I think
Speaker:we should start a podcast.
Speaker:And they were both like, okay.
Speaker:And none of us had ever
Speaker:listened to a podcast.
Speaker:And so JJ and I immediately
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: that's really
Speaker:important because I, I need to say,
Speaker:I didn't know how to find a podcast.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I didn't either.
Speaker:That's what makes it so great.
Speaker:And so JJ and I put on our corporate hats
Speaker:and we were like, well, if we're going to
Speaker:do this, we're going to do it for real.
Speaker:And so I was so jazzed about this.
Speaker:I took the class, uh, and, uh.
Speaker:And so we were excited about
Speaker:it and, and JJ and I were
Speaker:like, Emily just follows along.
Speaker:Emily will tell you, she's just like,
Speaker:okay, just tell me what you want me to do.
Speaker:And so we were like, well, if we're
Speaker:going to have a podcast, how are
Speaker:people going to know about us?
Speaker:So we thought, well, we're
Speaker:going to need a website.
Speaker:And so we immediately went into, and then
Speaker:it was, well, we, if we have a website,
Speaker:then we still need to find people.
Speaker:Cause how people find our website, we.
Speaker:We need social media.
Speaker:And so we took all of our
Speaker:background experiences and applied
Speaker:them to the podcasting world.
Speaker:And a lot of people told us we've
Speaker:done it backwards because we
Speaker:started everything in September
Speaker:and we launched in January of 2023.
Speaker:And so 2022 is when we started everything,
Speaker:we built our following, we wanted
Speaker:to do a grassroots kind of growth.
Speaker:And so we just, we put out this
Speaker:really ridiculous challenge,
Speaker:which aligns with mostly me.
Speaker:And JJ just says, yes, let's do it.
Speaker:Um, we wanted to be the number
Speaker:one podcast on January 24th, 2023.
Speaker:And so we, we would call out people like
Speaker:Joe Rogan, you can take the day off.
Speaker:Michelle Obama, you can
Speaker:take, you know what I mean?
Speaker:Like all these big national podcasters,
Speaker:international podcasters, and
Speaker:we're like, make Carrie number one.
Speaker:And so we enlisted tons, like everybody
Speaker:we knew and we didn't do too bad.
Speaker:I mean, I don't think we were number one.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: well, you know, it's
Speaker:funny because at the first pod fest I went
Speaker:to, we had just launched two days prior.
Speaker:And so I was a little bummed
Speaker:Natalie didn't go with me.
Speaker:I was, but I
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:Yeah, I was working.
Speaker:I had to still work.
Speaker:We didn't quit our day jobs.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:So I said to him, he said, I said,
Speaker:you know, we just launched and we, we
Speaker:wanted to beat Joe Rogan and he kind
Speaker:of laughed, he was like, Oh yeah.
Speaker:You know, you just launched.
Speaker:And I said, we got a thousand
Speaker:downloads on our first day.
Speaker:And he looked at me like I was crazy.
Speaker:And he said, are you serious?
Speaker:And I said, yeah, so
Speaker:we only got a thousand.
Speaker:And he said, do you understand
Speaker:that most people on their first
Speaker:day are lucky to get five?
Speaker:And I was like, really?
Speaker:And he said, JJ, imagine this a
Speaker:thousand people showed up in a room.
Speaker:To listen to what you had to say.
Speaker:And at that point I was
Speaker:like, that's pretty cool.
Speaker:I would never imagine that.
Speaker:John and Connie: On day one without
Speaker:knowing what you, without any pre, you
Speaker:know, uh, reputation for, uh, from
Speaker:hearing from other people.
Speaker:My goodness.
Speaker:You
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: yeah.
Speaker:So, but I think.
Speaker:John and Connie: Amazing launch.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I think one of the
Speaker:reasons that it, it, it stuck and that
Speaker:it hit people and that day and those
Speaker:episodes, because it was so personal
Speaker:and we told our story and I think
Speaker:every business has to be personal.
Speaker:And I think that's key to
Speaker:a small business owner.
Speaker:I know, um, If you look at it, it's
Speaker:hard to look at a business and not
Speaker:say, how am I going to make money?
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:What is, you know, this is my drive.
Speaker:How am I going to make money?
Speaker:But if that's your main goal in going into
Speaker:a business, if you don't have a passion
Speaker:for it, that's hard for me to ever do.
Speaker:Randomly what we opened, , we had
Speaker:a hobby shop in the basement of our
Speaker:house, , which was a terrible idea.
Speaker:, but it was for, Terrible.
Speaker:Um, but it was, , a saltwater fish hobby
Speaker:shop because my husband was really big.
Speaker:We love saltwater fish.
Speaker:And what happened was people
Speaker:kept on showing up at our house.
Speaker:And what we ended up doing was once I
Speaker:lost my job, we opened up just, we had
Speaker:some friends that owned a building and
Speaker:what that ended up being was one of the
Speaker:largest stores in the country in like
Speaker:Eight years, we were 10, 000 square feet,
Speaker:but we had such a passion for service.
Speaker:You know, one of our favorite
Speaker:accounts was going to nursing homes.
Speaker:We did custom design work
Speaker:and things like that.
Speaker:And so that's passion and that's heart.
Speaker:And that's finding the piece
Speaker:of the business that you love.
Speaker:And that, that goes out, people see
Speaker:that, and that's how you make a business.
Speaker:And just like what we did, Natalie shared
Speaker:some of the hardest stories about her
Speaker:time with Jason, and they were hard
Speaker:stories, um, about difficulties with
Speaker:marriage and taking, um, That those
Speaker:cancer treatments, parts of the caregiving
Speaker:story that most people don't share.
Speaker:And when people hear that
Speaker:and that authenticity, that's
Speaker:what drives people to a
Speaker:small business.
Speaker:You don't get that.
Speaker:You know, you don't want to call
Speaker:out the big businesses, but you
Speaker:don't get that a bigger businesses.
Speaker:It's hard to get that
Speaker:personal relationship because
Speaker:people just show up to work.
Speaker:There are nine to five.
Speaker:If you're a small business
Speaker:owner, you're living it.
Speaker:You've cleaned the
Speaker:toilets.
Speaker:You've, you know, Not got groceries.
Speaker:So your employees can get groceries
Speaker:and, but you have such a passion
Speaker:John and Connie: Mm hmm.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: and I think
Speaker:that's what makes us different.
Speaker:John and Connie: There's a piece
Speaker:about knowing the owner too.
Speaker:Um, you know, when
Speaker:you, when you're working with a
Speaker:smaller business, you know, you, you,
Speaker:you know that, you know, the owner,
Speaker:and then you can go to that owner.
Speaker:And, and you know, the
Speaker:buck stops there where
Speaker:when you're working with a corporate, you
Speaker:know, you're such layers and layers and
Speaker:you're never going to talk to the owner.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: they know us by
Speaker:name, you know, they know Confessions
Speaker:of a Reluctant Caregiver, but they
Speaker:also know it's JJ and Natalie.
Speaker:We go by the sisters, but same
Speaker:thing with our small business.
Speaker:We had a name of our business, but
Speaker:they also called it, They would go
Speaker:to this 10, 000 square foot building.
Speaker:They would go to Dexter and JJ's.
Speaker:Dexter's my husband.
Speaker:So it didn't have to be,
Speaker:they're going, they're going
Speaker:to run over to Dexter and JJ's.
Speaker:It was, it didn't have
Speaker:the fish store name.
Speaker:So I think you're exactly right
Speaker:that it is a very personal story.
Speaker:And as we get into, it's that
Speaker:affiliation that I can know these people.
Speaker:I relate to them very personally.
Speaker:I think that's what the podcast,
Speaker:I think that's what every business
Speaker:venture that Natalie and I are in,
Speaker:that's what we want is that we want to.
Speaker:Be open about it.
Speaker:You get us.
Speaker:That's what it is.
Speaker:And if you don't, if you can't see
Speaker:what our mission is, then it's hard.
Speaker:We're very, it's very important to us.
Speaker:I think that, that we align with
Speaker:other businesses as partners, as
Speaker:sponsors that share a common mission,
Speaker:a common goal, common values.
Speaker:It would be, it would not be.
Speaker:Thinkable for us to align with
Speaker:someone that didn't share that, that,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yeah.
Speaker:We're not willing to sacrifice
Speaker:integrity for dollars.
Speaker:And so we, you have to align with us.
Speaker:And I think that's really important.
Speaker:And, and ultimately, and this is what I
Speaker:saw in my grandparents, but then you got
Speaker:to understand our cousins, our uncles
Speaker:are all small business owners too.
Speaker:I look back at it now and I'm like,
Speaker:Oh, they did technically own their
Speaker:own business, whether it's heating
Speaker:and air conditioning or our cousins,
Speaker:a chiropractor or, you know, whatever.
Speaker:And then JJ having her fish dynasty,
Speaker:which I kept telling her she should offer
Speaker:up the sushi side of the fish store.
Speaker:Keep the other fish in line, but
Speaker:she did not ever align with that.
Speaker:It's fine.
Speaker:Whatever.
Speaker:That's
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: that was
Speaker:a bad business practice,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: like, you
Speaker:know, whatever it's sushi, it's fish.
Speaker:You want to, you want
Speaker:live, you want whatever.
Speaker:Um, but
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: bad for
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: yeah, so I
Speaker:think, um, I think you are the brand
Speaker:in a small business, like allowing
Speaker:people to know who you are.
Speaker:And, you know, I think.
Speaker:I don't understand like part of it for
Speaker:folks who choose to keep that separate.
Speaker:Um, and I think it's just
Speaker:because of what I've experienced
Speaker:that it's personal people.
Speaker:It's like church.
Speaker:You don't go to church for the building.
Speaker:You go to the church for the people.
Speaker:And so when you, what is your experience?
Speaker:And so customer experience is so
Speaker:important and ingrained in us both.
Speaker:And so rather it's through
Speaker:the podcast and what's in it.
Speaker:That feel that we want to come
Speaker:across or what I do every day.
Speaker:I'm a human service concierge.
Speaker:If I don't know the answer, I
Speaker:am going to find it for you.
Speaker:And I am quick.
Speaker:I am quick under crisis because
Speaker:families for me, I work on the mental
Speaker:health side of the house for my
Speaker:full time job and I live this way.
Speaker:I've approached everything,
Speaker:whether it's talent recruitment
Speaker:or foster parent recruitment or
Speaker:providing services and connecting
Speaker:families with the right services.
Speaker:It is about being responsive.
Speaker:It is about, they know they can trust me.
Speaker:And even if I don't have the answer,
Speaker:they trust that I will get it to them.
Speaker:And they come back to me every time.
Speaker:That is building brand.
Speaker:That's building brand loyalty and
Speaker:I am an extension of the brand.
Speaker:And so for us, that's what
Speaker:we do with the podcast.
Speaker:And that's why we are, you know, We
Speaker:are, we are the brand for Confessions.
Speaker:It is not just the podcast.
Speaker:We are the brand and people
Speaker:are like, Oh, that's a sister.
Speaker:That's a, that's a friend.
Speaker:That's my girlfriend.
Speaker:Cause I always joke.
Speaker:I'm like, you know, we're
Speaker:pretty, but we're not too pretty.
Speaker:I'm like, we don't want to be too pretty.
Speaker:I mean, I nailed it today
Speaker:on this makeup, none.
Speaker:And so we want to be relatable.
Speaker:We want to be the girls next door that
Speaker:are your friends that are not intimidating
Speaker:and that they're like, Oh my gosh, let's
Speaker:just set up and we can just chat away.
Speaker:And that's what we want people
Speaker:to have a sense and feel.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: But I think even in
Speaker:our corporate careers, we dedicate and
Speaker:we have dedicated, I dedicated so much
Speaker:of myself to that personal relationship.
Speaker:I know Natalie does to this day.
Speaker:When you get to that point and you give
Speaker:that much to a corporate career, you
Speaker:have to sit back and go, wait a minute.
Speaker:I am a brand and I, my heart,
Speaker:I put it out on the line.
Speaker:I should do this for myself.
Speaker:I could do this.
Speaker:Let me offer this for myself.
Speaker:Let me be my own boss.
Speaker:And that is a big step.
Speaker:Like there's a, Canyon.
Speaker:You got to go across to get to
Speaker:that as a small business owner.
Speaker:But when you're ready to take
Speaker:that leap and say, you know
Speaker:what, I can do this for myself.
Speaker:I do it so great for someone else.
Speaker:Let me take the chance and do it.
Speaker:Those people, they follow you.
Speaker:You know, they, they follow
Speaker:your, your mission, your, your
Speaker:personality, even with bigger, even
Speaker:with different types of businesses,
Speaker:that drive and that attraction.
Speaker:That's what you have.
Speaker:It's going to carry over into other
Speaker:business lines at the same business line.
Speaker:But to take that risk, there's,
Speaker:there's, something about it.
Speaker:Uh, I know Natalie and I love her
Speaker:like, all right, let's, let's do it.
Speaker:John and Connie: And that, I'm trying to
Speaker:come back to the family part of it because
Speaker:it's so woven into what you're doing.
Speaker:It's, it's just this
Speaker:underlying assumption almost.
Speaker:And, and you know, your family feel,
Speaker:you're talking about your personal
Speaker:brand, uh, and both in Confessions
Speaker:and in corporate, you're bringing
Speaker:that those family values and that
Speaker:family feel to your personal brand
Speaker:in corporate as well as your podcast.
Speaker:And it's just, it's just,
Speaker:it's just part of who you are.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:John and Connie: And
Speaker:I think, you know, talking about the
Speaker:hardware store, that family business,
Speaker:you know, it was a gathering place.
Speaker:That was , a big part of the brand,
Speaker:I'm sure, was the, that gathering
Speaker:place and those men sitting around
Speaker:the stove and, and the restaurant
Speaker:next door and all, oh my gosh, yes, I
Speaker:mean that's, and that's very hard to
Speaker:compete with, I'll say it that way.
Speaker:A well defined brand like that,
Speaker:that's based on a family or a
Speaker:person, very hard to compete with.
Speaker:and that's what I think a
Speaker:lot of small businesses miss.
Speaker:Our family business,
Speaker:, was, , the citrus business.
Speaker:So it wasn't as public, but,
Speaker:but my father was very, private.
Speaker:He wanted, you know, it w
Speaker:you don't talk about family
Speaker:business outside the business.
Speaker:And, and so that focus on
Speaker:privacy, I think was a limitation.
Speaker:I mean, it was protective,
Speaker:but it was also a limitation.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Hmm
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I think about for us
Speaker:in the hardware and how, well, you know,
Speaker:your financial information, you kind of
Speaker:keep, you know, that was a Southern thing.
Speaker:Maybe it's everybody, you keep
Speaker:that kind of tied to the belt.
Speaker:But, you know, I think about all
Speaker:that we had, my grandmother, we have
Speaker:pictures of us in this hardware.
Speaker:So you think about this 20 foot
Speaker:ceiling and these tin tiles, uh, that
Speaker:were part of the roof, but there, you
Speaker:know, if you remember Olin Mills, you
Speaker:know, those big, huge oil portraits.
Speaker:They, they lined, you know, see a five
Speaker:different families, five different
Speaker:children, and then all of their children.
Speaker:And so we have, you know, I
Speaker:remember that there were large,
Speaker:ornate framed photos of us.
Speaker:And so all of us were there on
Speaker:the very, you know, somehow they
Speaker:got stuck up there and this old
Speaker:hardware, which prior to being a
Speaker:hardware, that building was a stable.
Speaker:So it had, uh.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:It had wood floors that were, you know, so
Speaker:it's all this historical, like, you know,
Speaker:I think about it and my heart just is
Speaker:like full, but there are these, there were
Speaker:these big pictures of all of us, you know,
Speaker:it was like, Oh, that's JJ, you know, when
Speaker:she was two and I'm, you know, 16 now.
Speaker:And, uh, but at that, you
Speaker:know, they knew us even when
Speaker:we weren't there, they knew us.
Speaker:And so,
Speaker:John and Connie: And I remember when I
Speaker:was a little boy, there was a hardware
Speaker:in Winter Haven, Boland hardware,
Speaker:and wood floors and the high ceilings
Speaker:and the tin, you know, all the stuff
Speaker:you're talking about, you know,
Speaker:it's, that's, yeah, that's an era.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: So I
Speaker:think I will say this though.
Speaker:Um, we are sisters first and then
Speaker:we over here, and then we are
Speaker:also business owners together.
Speaker:And that is something that is different
Speaker:than it's working with your family, but JJ
Speaker:and I are equal partners in the podcast.
Speaker:And so FYI, in case everybody
Speaker:thinks that we are like besties,
Speaker:like we're sisters and sometimes
Speaker:we get on each other's nerves.
Speaker:And so it is, it's really funny because
Speaker:we've had some very direct heated
Speaker:conversations before, because JJ
Speaker:and I, I am very type A personality.
Speaker:JJ is also a type A personality,
Speaker:but we're different.
Speaker:And I think the most unexpected thing that
Speaker:in going into business with my sibling.
Speaker:Uh, very different, I think, than
Speaker:going into business with your spouse.
Speaker:Because JJ can speak to
Speaker:that, , because you can leave him
Speaker:and you don't get to leave me.
Speaker:And so it's, we're super tight.
Speaker:You got to understand JJ and Emily
Speaker:and I are all two years apart.
Speaker:And so we're super, super tight.
Speaker:But, we will argue at times like
Speaker:sisters but it is, our work is different.
Speaker:So I, how I thought of JJ and how
Speaker:JJ works, like how I know her as a
Speaker:sister, her work is different and
Speaker:my work is a little bit different.
Speaker:And so in those first, I
Speaker:don't even say months, year.
Speaker:It was, it is honing in on our
Speaker:strengths and being able to say, you
Speaker:do this, you do that, and not, um,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: And then say, if you're
Speaker:not the boss of me, I'm not doing that.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Emily
Speaker:has told me you are not my boss.
Speaker:And I'm like, well then don't
Speaker:act like a, like a staff member.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, that is,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: It is so
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: interesting dynamics.
Speaker:Um, and one of the other things we
Speaker:would say with a small business is
Speaker:John and Connie: We're not
Speaker:leaving that, so I'm going to.
Speaker:come back, but go, go ahead.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Step away though,
Speaker:because what we find ourselves doing
Speaker:is that when we talk to one another,
Speaker:it's da, da, da, business only.
Speaker:And there are those days.
Speaker:And our youngest sister is the one
Speaker:that called us to our attention.
Speaker:She said, you never call and ask about me.
Speaker:You never call anymore and
Speaker:say, Hey, what's the dog doing?
Speaker:Hey, how's Brandon?
Speaker:Hey, how, you know, how is this?
Speaker:And that's the thing I miss.
Speaker:And that was a call out.
Speaker:Like that was a step.
Speaker:Holy crap.
Speaker:We are, you know, this
Speaker:business is important.
Speaker:What we do is important, but how
Speaker:would you sacrifice that at the cost?
Speaker:Would you, would you do that at
Speaker:the cost of your relationship?
Speaker:So you have to make sure that's something
Speaker:you have to work at to make sure that
Speaker:there's separation of church and state.
Speaker:There's separation of sisterhood
Speaker:and business.
Speaker:John and Connie: Well, and family of
Speaker:these, yeah, so there's, there's the, the
Speaker:business, the family business, but there's
Speaker:also the business of family and they're,
Speaker:they're intertwined, but they're not
Speaker:the same and they, there has
Speaker:to be a fluid balance, right?
Speaker:They're, they're going to be
Speaker:there's going to be seasons, right?
Speaker:when when you launched this, were
Speaker:preparing to launch this, it sounds
Speaker:like it was an all out frontal
Speaker:assault on social media world.
Speaker:So, you know, there probably wasn't a
Speaker:lot of time for, you know, sister, sister
Speaker:chats, but then you come back, right?
Speaker:So, so there are, there is, there's
Speaker:always going to be temporary
Speaker:imbalances we can't maintain.
Speaker:I
Speaker:just, it's unreasonable to think we could.
Speaker:Every day can be the same, Right?
Speaker:But wow, you guys have, so I have
Speaker:typical questions that I ask and you've
Speaker:hit on them or answered them already,
Speaker:but I still want to bring them out
Speaker:just so we, you know, so one of them
Speaker:is, what's a challenge that you've
Speaker:overcome that other small businesses
Speaker:could, could learn from in terms, you
Speaker:know, that you've overcome together?
Speaker:So you talked about.
Speaker:And I really want to go to, if I may,
Speaker:and stop me if it doesn't work, but
Speaker:the, where you talked about, you know,
Speaker:you fight and you argue and you, so
Speaker:you figured, I mean, that's where
Speaker:a lot of families get stuck, right?
Speaker:They're, they're, they don't
Speaker:know how to fight fair.
Speaker:They don't know how to have those,
Speaker:the, the family battles or the
Speaker:family dynamics in the business
Speaker:and make it work for the business.
Speaker:And, and, and find, I don't
Speaker:know, clarify the roles.
Speaker:That's part, I know that's part of
Speaker:it, but, How have, so how have you
Speaker:guys, What have you figured out, And
Speaker:what would you share, For somebody
Speaker:else that hasn't figured it out?
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I can say
Speaker:we don't always fight fair.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: And we don't,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, I think,
Speaker:I know, but, um, and I, I think for
Speaker:me is, um, with Natalie, you know,
Speaker:we, we had a heated, let's call
Speaker:it a heated debate the other day.
Speaker:Heated, but in the end, uh, because
Speaker:here's the thing, Allie's type A and she
Speaker:says what she wants to say right then.
Speaker:I am the thinker.
Speaker:And so I have to think through
Speaker:my process and then I build up.
Speaker:And when I explode, then she's like,
Speaker:holy crap, why are you so mad at me?
Speaker:And she gets her feelings hurt.
Speaker:And then she cries or she's
Speaker:like, I can see it well enough.
Speaker:I'm like, she never cried.
Speaker:She's always so mean.
Speaker:But when we're done with it, When we're
Speaker:done, there's this little, I'm sorry,
Speaker:I didn't mean to say what I said.
Speaker:It takes a little bit of time.
Speaker:You don't have to regroup right
Speaker:then, but it's like the next morning.
Speaker:I think you both have to be thoughtful
Speaker:and you have to be intentional about okay,
Speaker:what just happened and why did it happen?
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: yeah.
Speaker:And I would say this cause, um, Uh, I
Speaker:think typically what happens is that
Speaker:JJ and I are never mad at each other.
Speaker:It is the stress of things
Speaker:that are going on and
Speaker:that's actually what led to it.
Speaker:And it was this straw that
Speaker:broke the camel's back.
Speaker:It might've been something so
Speaker:minute, like, well, I don't
Speaker:understand why you didn't do this.
Speaker:And it was all these other
Speaker:pressures that came in.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:And, um, and I'm about again, I
Speaker:work in the mental health field, so
Speaker:I'm all about relationship repair.
Speaker:I'm never going to run my relationship
Speaker:with my sister for anything.
Speaker:I'm just not.
Speaker:And so it doesn't mean that we're not
Speaker:allowed to get into an argument because
Speaker:the other thing about it is that.
Speaker:And so we have a strong relationship bond,
Speaker:which means we take that for granted.
Speaker:We know that we're safe to say
Speaker:certain things and that, um, and
Speaker:we have to be careful with that.
Speaker:You cannot just push that card to the
Speaker:farthest edge, but you know, sometimes
Speaker:you say, hurtful things to the people you
Speaker:love because you know that they're safe.
Speaker:And so for us, um, we don't,
Speaker:uh, we, we, we don't typically
Speaker:get into arguments a lot.
Speaker:Um, we get frustrated about things
Speaker:happening and we're like, Oh,
Speaker:and so she gets right in the car.
Speaker:Like we're Thelma and Louise.
Speaker:When we get mad together,
Speaker:we're like, Ooh, let's just go.
Speaker:But, um, at each other is not common.
Speaker:At each other is not common, but it
Speaker:took us a minute to understand our skill
Speaker:sets to know JJ does this and Natalie
Speaker:does this like JJ will laugh at this.
Speaker:She does not answer
Speaker:emails as fast as I do.
Speaker:And I find that exceptionally annoying.
Speaker:And so I'm like,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Every,
Speaker:like, five minutes?
Speaker:I mean, I mean, I might
Speaker:answer the email tomorrow.
Speaker:Someone sends it to me at noon
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:terrible customer service.
Speaker:and
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: At eight a.m.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: So
Speaker:John and Connie: That's the
Speaker:difference between HR and finance.
Speaker:With finance, you hold all the cards.
Speaker:You can, you can afford
Speaker:to wait, make them wait.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:That's exactly right.
Speaker:And so, but, but,
Speaker:does it, but here's the thing, JJ, I
Speaker:know exactly what she'll respond to and
Speaker:I know what she doesn't, but I'll also
Speaker:ping her and say, make sure you see this.
Speaker:Like, cause she, we get a lot
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I say, I saw it.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: She's like, check.
Speaker:So before we even, for today, last night,
Speaker:the system sent out the reminder and I
Speaker:was like, don't forget we have this at
Speaker:eight because I know she, she cuts off.
Speaker:Email so much better than I do because
Speaker:in my field, it's always 24 seven.
Speaker:It's like I'm available seven days a
Speaker:week because of, you know, children need
Speaker:foster homes or children need services.
Speaker:Or if you need acute, if you have an
Speaker:acute crisis, you have to be always on.
Speaker:And so I'm always eyeballing
Speaker:things on my email because that's
Speaker:how I've operated for 25 years.
Speaker:Whereas JJ has been in positions
Speaker:that don't require that level.
Speaker:And she's, she, and I choose to do it.
Speaker:So you got to understand,
Speaker:I am not a martyr.
Speaker:I am paid, but I am, I
Speaker:choose to live like that.
Speaker:And so I had to adjust my expectations of
Speaker:her to not place my values on top of her
Speaker:professional values, if that makes sense.
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:Mm
Speaker:John and Connie: Bingo.
Speaker:Huge, huge.
Speaker:I think, I think that's.
Speaker:So important to call out because
Speaker:even in a family where we have,
Speaker:you know, there are a lot of shared
Speaker:values and there's some assumption.
Speaker:I think there's an excessive assumption
Speaker:probably in a lot of families that
Speaker:the values are shared, especially
Speaker:generationally, but and in the same order.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Mm hmm.
Speaker:John and Connie: but but that
Speaker:recognition of different values.
Speaker:There's a cognitive bias.
Speaker:We, uh, we kind of focus
Speaker:on cognitive biases.
Speaker:There's one called
Speaker:fundamental attribution error.
Speaker:And it's where we assign a
Speaker:behavior characteristic to someone
Speaker:or , even a mistake that they make.
Speaker:We assign that as, as if
Speaker:it's a character flaw.
Speaker:It's a permanent fixture of that
Speaker:person rather than something they did.
Speaker:And this, and the values is the same
Speaker:way, you know, that you've got the
Speaker:person that have got their values and
Speaker:they're allowed to have different values.
Speaker:They have to be.
Speaker:And, navigating that, recognizing
Speaker:that first and then navigating
Speaker:that is such a big differentiator.
Speaker:Yeah, it really, we really had to work
Speaker:with that when his mom had, um, at
Speaker:least 14 different kinds of dementia.
Speaker:So, you know, you had to kind of know
Speaker:which one you were dealing with at the
Speaker:time and treat her still as an 85 year
Speaker:old woman who, you know, had run her life
Speaker:for a long time and be respectful of that.
Speaker:Well, there's other stuff coming in and
Speaker:out of the picture that you're going, Ooh.
Speaker:What is this?
Speaker:And now what do we do?
Speaker:You know, so.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:John and Connie: So, separating
Speaker:the two has been a a big
Speaker:eye opener for both of us.
Speaker:And probably saved us in a lot of ways.
Speaker:And just in our marriage, I'm more
Speaker:of a detail person, and Connie's
Speaker:more of a get 'er done person.
Speaker:And, you know, that's a value, at
Speaker:core, that's a value difference, right?
Speaker:It's
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:John and Connie: And if you don't
Speaker:resolve that and figure that out,
Speaker:it's, it's just like this all the time.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah, I will say that,
Speaker:that because I worked with my husband
Speaker:in the, the other business, that was,
Speaker:there are definitely, there's, there
Speaker:was definitely our, he's the idea guy.
Speaker:It's very funny.
Speaker:He, well, let's do this.
Speaker:He's kind of like Natalie, let's do this.
Speaker:And then I'm like, do you know
Speaker:what that's going to take to do?
Speaker:And I will implement
Speaker:it, but he has no idea.
Speaker:Like Natalie has these beautiful ideas.
Speaker:Let's do this, this, this,
Speaker:this, and this on the website.
Speaker:I'm like, are you serious?
Speaker:If we have to pay somebody to do
Speaker:that, it's going to cause this.
Speaker:And she's like, well, I want to do it.
Speaker:This, this, this, this, this.
Speaker:And I'm like, do you know how
Speaker:long that's going to take?
Speaker:She's got these fantastic ideas.
Speaker:And that is, I'm like, Oh my gosh.
Speaker:But same thing with my husband.
Speaker:Our, we had to, it's kind of funny.
Speaker:We had to share an office for a little
Speaker:while and, uh, in our very first building.
Speaker:And there were moments.
Speaker:I didn't want to hear him breathe.
Speaker:I mean, he's open to that.
Speaker:He knows.
Speaker:And he would say, Hey, do
Speaker:you want to, I'm leaving.
Speaker:Um, do you want to ride
Speaker:with me to the store?
Speaker:And I would be like, I would
Speaker:rather walk to the store.
Speaker:I wouldn't say that, but I would be like,
Speaker:I just want the 15 minutes in the car by
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I remember
Speaker:she would tell me that too.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I mean, I would
Speaker:leave, but I would go a different route.
Speaker:And the reason is it's
Speaker:hard to work with family.
Speaker:And I think if Natalie and I were
Speaker:in the same town, because I'm in
Speaker:Florida, Natalie's in Virginia.
Speaker:So we do a lot of remote work, but she
Speaker:did recognize really quickly that for
Speaker:my lifestyle, for the way that I work,
Speaker:I do have to cut it off at six o'clock.
Speaker:The expectation is we
Speaker:do have dinner together.
Speaker:We do things in the evening.
Speaker:And she, her, her life, her, the way that
Speaker:she and her husband work, it's different.
Speaker:So, and it's, they totally
Speaker:understand that, but you have
Speaker:to be respectful of those two,
Speaker:the way those two families work.
Speaker:And so, and I think that's been a big
Speaker:thing for us because when she messages me
Speaker:at like nine o'clock and then she'll call,
Speaker:she'll be like, did you get my message?
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: That was early on.
Speaker:Now I know
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill:
Speaker:yeah, that was early on.
Speaker:Now she's like, I'm not
Speaker:even going to call her.
Speaker:I mean, why would
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: she doesn't
Speaker:really check her email or text message
Speaker:in any way, but I think it comes back to.
Speaker:If I'm texting you after a certain
Speaker:time, it's going to be very important.
Speaker:I need you to know it, or can it wait?
Speaker:And so with my position, I have
Speaker:to do a ton of stuff after hours.
Speaker:And so, and my husband has,
Speaker:you know, basically is like.
Speaker:Job has the patience of job
Speaker:and, , to put up with me.
Speaker:He's very different than me.
Speaker:And, , he knows how I work.
Speaker:I'm, I'm a 12 hour a day girl and I work.
Speaker:I only take Saturdays off because
Speaker:I typically work on Sundays.
Speaker:, and in the afternoon, and so I, I, but.
Speaker:That's my personality.
Speaker:He knew what he was getting
Speaker:when he got married.
Speaker:And I try to make sure that I
Speaker:don't take advantage of that.
Speaker:And the sisters will be like, Hey,
Speaker:FYI, don't forget about your husband.
Speaker:And I'm like,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Who's in there on the
Speaker:couch?
Speaker:Uh, go in
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: But, but, but
Speaker:even, and then, but, but again, it comes
Speaker:back to communication, being open and
Speaker:transparent and being honest about it.
Speaker:And even if you don't like
Speaker:the answer, that's okay.
Speaker:It's still, it's, Okay.
Speaker:I don't like this, but
Speaker:I can live with that.
Speaker:If you
Speaker:can't live with something, then you better
Speaker:talk about it some more because it's
Speaker:going to build up into a blow up and
Speaker:it's never worth your relationship,
Speaker:um, over what ultimately the argument,
Speaker:the arguments about so much more than
Speaker:what the actual issue at hand is,
Speaker:John and Connie: Right.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: You know, and
Speaker:that's funny because our dad, when
Speaker:you say that, Natalie, our dad,
Speaker:our dad passed away at 58 playing
Speaker:softball of a massive heart attack.
Speaker:And you know, we say our mom had
Speaker:Parkinson's, she's had it for 20 years.
Speaker:But, We always thought dad
Speaker:would take care of mom.
Speaker:And so we inherited mom.
Speaker:We laughed about that on our podcast.
Speaker:We got mom, we didn't know how, but,
Speaker:um, when we talk about the way Natalie
Speaker:works and she gets so furious when
Speaker:we say stuff, she works that hard all
Speaker:the time and we build up this anger.
Speaker:And then I say to her something like,
Speaker:I don't want you to die like dad.
Speaker:And then she just, and so when we talk
Speaker:about things that build up over time,
Speaker:sometimes it is a really personal thing.
Speaker:And so.
Speaker:So that is when things come out
Speaker:at their worst, that is, you know,
Speaker:there's so much care in there that,
Speaker:but that is when a blow up happens.
Speaker:And there's just, there's so much
Speaker:underlying care and concern for
Speaker:it as well in the family business.
Speaker:So,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I want to make
Speaker:sure we don't fight all the time.
Speaker:It's just.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Oh Oh my gosh,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: No!
Speaker:But JJ and I really strongly
Speaker:believe in our own opinions.
Speaker:She taught me that.
Speaker:She said that one time she goes, I
Speaker:really believe in my own opinion.
Speaker:I welcome you to, to dissuade me.
Speaker:John and Connie: Oh, I love that.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: And it's
Speaker:interesting in our business, my
Speaker:oldest stepson worked in our business.
Speaker:He was our store manager.
Speaker:And he, he had a saying, there
Speaker:are two rules in our business.
Speaker:Number one, JJ is always right.
Speaker:Number two, when in doubt,
Speaker:refer to rule number one.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: And you can tell
Speaker:John and Connie: Now, I've got to call
Speaker:out some, the language difference there,
Speaker:because that's where we work, okay?
Speaker:So, the second one, the joking
Speaker:one, the two rules, that's
Speaker:where a lot of people live.
Speaker:You know, it's in the
Speaker:world of right and wrong.
Speaker:If, if, if, we differ, you know,
Speaker:each person is in that position of,
Speaker:well, I'm right and you're wrong.
Speaker:And that's a very difficult place to be.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: It is.
Speaker:John and Connie: But when you, when
Speaker:you say it, like, I really believe
Speaker:in my opinion, you're welcome.
Speaker:I welcome you to, to dissuade
Speaker:me or persuade me otherwise.
Speaker:What a difference!
Speaker:What a different energy that is.
Speaker:Oh my God, that's brilliant.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Well, and,
Speaker:and here's the thing I am totally
Speaker:okay with being, , my solution, not,
Speaker:I don't want to be right and wrong.
Speaker:I will, I am okay with allowing
Speaker:the idea to evolve and because I
Speaker:am comfortable enough in myself.
Speaker:That I don't, it doesn't
Speaker:have to be my way.
Speaker:And I believe JJ is that way.
Speaker:So we'll, when we're thinking
Speaker:about things like, how do we
Speaker:want to move forward with this?
Speaker:You know, I have this idea and
Speaker:I think this is the right way.
Speaker:And JJ comes back and we were in a
Speaker:meeting the other day and she was like,
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: That's what I was
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: let's,
Speaker:let's not do this because of this.
Speaker:And I'm like, Ooh, even better.
Speaker:Because if you can, if you're
Speaker:confident in your own ability, then.
Speaker:You're going to be fine with allowing
Speaker:the idea to evolve because it was
Speaker:never about you in the first place.
Speaker:It's about the mission and what
Speaker:you're trying to get across.
Speaker:John and Connie: Right.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: It's funny
Speaker:because we were in a meet.
Speaker:So in addition to the podcast,
Speaker:we do series, we do training,
Speaker:we do speaking events.
Speaker:So this is not always just a discussion
Speaker:about a podcast, just so you'll know.
Speaker:That's not just what we do.
Speaker:And, um, but it was interesting.
Speaker:We were in that meeting and we were, we
Speaker:were planning to do a large series and
Speaker:training event with another company.
Speaker:And so this company, Natalie,
Speaker:Type A, she's rolling out
Speaker:exactly what we're doing.
Speaker:And I have missed two meetings.
Speaker:And so they're all sitting there like,
Speaker:duh, they are just afraid to talk.
Speaker:I think I look at their face.
Speaker:I'm like, Oh my gosh, these
Speaker:people are not going to talk.
Speaker:And I hear it and I'm like,
Speaker:Whoa, that does not sound good.
Speaker:And Natalie's like, what?
Speaker:And I'm like, I think that we should
Speaker:have this person, this, this, and this.
Speaker:And then the other people are like,
Speaker:Well, that, that sounds like a good idea.
Speaker:And I'm like, these people are
Speaker:scared of her and they're not.
Speaker:But it, it, I think that we work
Speaker:so much better as a team because
Speaker:it is safe for us to kind of, okay.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I like this better.
Speaker:No, I don't like this.
Speaker:I don't like that.
Speaker:But our best ideas have come together
Speaker:when we work together and the ideas have
Speaker:changed, but it brings out
Speaker:the best in both of us.
Speaker:And when we put those together,
Speaker:it's It's kind of like a peanut
Speaker:butter and jelly sandwich.
Speaker:I got the jelly.
Speaker:She's got the peanut butter.
Speaker:Put that together.
Speaker:And we're like, wham, that's the best
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: I'm
Speaker:pretty sure I'm jelly though.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: you could be
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:I'm, I'm pretty sweet.
Speaker:John and Connie: Ha, ha.
Speaker:I can
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: tell.
Speaker:I'll be the
Speaker:peanut butter.
Speaker:John and Connie: ha.
Speaker:Oh my goodness.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:the roof of your mouth,
Speaker:John and Connie: And a little
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: you
Speaker:see the abuse I get?
Speaker:I don't even know how long this podcast
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Maybe
Speaker:I'm, maybe I'm crunchy.
Speaker:You know, maybe you are jelly
Speaker:and I'm just, I appreciate
Speaker:that and a little nutty.
Speaker:Maybe I'm crunchy.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: You're
Speaker:like nutty peanut butter.
Speaker:You're
Speaker:John and Connie: well, we,
Speaker:we are at, at our normal, uh,
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: that's
Speaker:John and Connie: cutoff time.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: darn it.
Speaker:John and Connie: So we
Speaker:have had so much fun.
Speaker:And I, I can see we could do
Speaker:this two or three more times
Speaker:and still not cover everything.
Speaker:But you have brought out
Speaker:so many aspects of family.
Speaker:I don't even want to say family business.
Speaker:I want to say family in business.
Speaker:Family working together that, uh,
Speaker:that aren't often expressed and
Speaker:and not as eloquently as you have.
Speaker:So thank you so much for
Speaker:being our guests on this.
Speaker:And I wish we wish you the very best.
Speaker:I know you've got other, you know,
Speaker:you're still growing your podcast and you
Speaker:got
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: We'll
Speaker:John and Connie: know, projects on the
Speaker:on the stove,
Speaker:but we will look forward to that.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And, and honor your
Speaker:grandparents too, because.
Speaker:They, they set the whole thing
Speaker:up in motion and what, wow.
Speaker:I'm so in awe of them.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: They
Speaker:are, they were amazing people.
Speaker:John and Connie: I bet they were.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: to have them.
Speaker:John and Connie: Cause,
Speaker:cause look at you guys.
Speaker:You're, you're a great result of that.
Speaker:So
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: I think they did
Speaker:that for our entire family that,
Speaker:John and Connie: there you go.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: 11 of us,
Speaker:11 grandkids, their marriages,
Speaker:they're my aunts and uncles.
Speaker:And, you know, still to this day,
Speaker:I'll toss this out last my aunt
Speaker:June, which was my mom's sister.
Speaker:She's the 1st sibling to pass away.
Speaker:She passed away back in February.
Speaker:And while Natalie and
Speaker:I live distantly, um.
Speaker:The rest of them pretty much
Speaker:all live in the same community.
Speaker:But when we saw each other at a funeral,
Speaker:this is a heart, you know, you're at a
Speaker:funeral and we haven't seen them in some
Speaker:of them in years, 10 years, 15 years.
Speaker:And we see these people.
Speaker:It's just like yesterday.
Speaker:It's just like, we're like
Speaker:right back where we're meeting
Speaker:up for lunch after church.
Speaker:And.
Speaker:You're at this funeral, but you see these
Speaker:people and you're so filled with love
Speaker:and so filled with the best memories.
Speaker:And that's what, that's what family is.
Speaker:And that's why
Speaker:a family business, it needs to thrive.
Speaker:It that's what they built in
Speaker:us is just, that's what it is.
Speaker:It's it's it's family
Speaker:and it's good and bad.
Speaker:They're yours.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: That's
Speaker:John and Connie: exactly.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: so,
Speaker:John and Connie: loved what you said
Speaker:about the, you know, your, with your
Speaker:sibling, you know, your, the business
Speaker:can can end, but the family can, the
Speaker:family relationship still goes on.
Speaker:So, you know, that kind of,
Speaker:that's helps people keep it
Speaker:perspective of what's important.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Exactly.
Speaker:John and Connie: Yeah.
Speaker:We always say you gotta
Speaker:have holidays with them.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:Yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker:John and Connie: You know,
Speaker:plan for that.
Speaker:Exactly.
Speaker:There were times when,
Speaker:you know, I wanted to go
Speaker:somewhere else, not be nice.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: That's okay.
Speaker:John and Connie: But, but knowing
Speaker:that, um, we had to have a family
Speaker:dinner and that, that, and that was
Speaker:family time versus business time.
Speaker:And then the next morning
Speaker:I could go in there and
Speaker:ream him a new one.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Yeah.
Speaker:John and Connie: Which I did once
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: the
Speaker:turkey and by the way.
Speaker:John and Connie: Uh huh.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, this has been so much fun.
Speaker:Thank you
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy:
Speaker:Thanks for having us.
Speaker:We
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Thank you!
Speaker:John and Connie: It's been so
Speaker:much fun getting to know you and
Speaker:well, let's, can we do this again?
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Yes.
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Absolutely.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Oh, trust me.
Speaker:John and Connie: Good.
Speaker:Well, we'll stay in touch.
Speaker:Natalie Elliott Handy: Sounds wonderful
Speaker:J.J. Elliott Hill: Thank you guys.
Speaker:John and Connie: Thank you.
Speaker:bye.
Speaker:bye.
