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Back to normal? Is that even possible?

Written by John Kuder

Table Of Contents

(Video transcript. The video is located at the bottom of this page.)

Have you heard somebody say, “I can’t wait for things to get back to normal”?

Oh, I’m tops on the list!

You’ve been saying that?

Oh yeah! How many times have I been saying that?

Let’s dig into that a little bit. Yeah. Let’s unpack it, as they say.

Okay, so I know you know the answer to this, but is it possible to change the past? Been trying to do that for 60-something years too.

So we might change how we perceive it, we might change how we think about it right? Like something was… something we once thought was awful is now okay (spinach) or something wasn’t so great was now wonderful (Brussels sprouts). Yeah, things I, yeah.

So yeah, we can change that, but actually going back and changing the events without a time machine, we can’t do it. So not possible. Tried that for years too. So, another. So the next thing we try to do is recreate the past. Okay, can we recreate or duplicate the past now?

No, but we can sure screw it up.

Well, I’m thinking of like when we go to, you know, go back to someplace we visited, someplace we went on vacation and had a wonderful, wonderful time or someplace we used to live or a high school reunion.

Oh, No!

So, you know, as much as we want to try to relive some wonderful experience by by recreating it. I’ve tried multiple times. It has not worked out.

It’s not pretty.

And there’s a saying that you can’t go back. Right, right, you can never go back, you can never go home, right, because conditions have changed. You’ve changed. it’s something, everything, everything has changed in some degree. And so this idea of wanting things… hoping that things will quote “get back to normal”…

I think, it’s the same…

It’s the same problem. Yeah, see, what, what does that mean? How do you define what normal is, given what’s, what’s taken place and how things have changed? I mean, our… for example, are the… the high rise office buildings likely to… now that people have worked from home for a year and a half or longer, are the high rise office buildings likely to go back to the same level of occupancy that they did?

I doubt it. Or is there going to be some change in the real estate agents, no industry?

I mean, we just watched the Wimbledon and they… they filled the stands, so there’s hope. But still, it’s not going to be the same as it was. Yeah.

Okay, so, so maybe back to normal isn’t possible. But if it’s not possible, and we want it, and we hope for that, what are we doing to ourselves?

Well, probably not pretty things.

So, what would that mean? So what does it do? You know, I want… I want to go back. I want things to be the way they were. What is… If you cling to that, what, what does that do to you?

It stops you.

How? Stops meaning, you can’t move?

Well, sort of, because you’re… you’re locked into a mindset that that’s what you wanted and that’s not necessarily what is.

So like we’re so focused on the past, that we can’t even live today in the now, and certainly can’t look to the future. We’re looking backwards, all the time.

And how, how well does walking backwards work for you?

Yeah, it hasn’t!

Or even walking forward and looking over your shoulder.

Hell, even standing backwards.

Boy, we’ve, we’ve seen a couple of hard falls from it. So, you know, I mean I’m making fun but it’s to create that, you know, visual of what happens when we’re looking backward. It’s a stuck state.

We’re hoping things are gonna… we… we’re gonna wait somehow for things to get back to normal. Life goes on. The clock keeps ticking. Yeah, and waiting is just losing time, losing opportunity. So, and is there an avenue of denial in there?

Hey, that’s my jam!

If I’m, if I’m waiting, if I’m… if I’m saying, “No, things are going to get back to normal. I know it.” What am I, what am I saying about what, what I’m experiencing right now?

I guess that it’s not good enough.

Oh! So not only denial but judgment.

Ooh, could be.

So, are these effective ways to make the most of the moment?

Well, guess not.

So this is food for thought. This is a little sample of what, what we can do, how the, the… what we’ve been studying for three years, the Mind Models have helped us change the way we look at life and get out of those stuck states, and, and, and not get caught up in those past loops of wanting stuff to come back, which I will fully confess I’ve spent many years doing as well.

Yeah okay. So this isn’t me free, just, I’m just discussing it now in the current situation.

So if this sounds interesting, leave us a comment, let us know. Reach out, we’d love to hear from you. Visit our website at kuderconsultinggroup.com I’m John.

I’m Connie.

Oh, nice to meet you.

And that’s k-u-d-e-r in case you’re looking for us.

Yes K-U-D-E-R, well, it’s well, it’ll be at the top of the post.

Oh okay. Yeah. Come and see us.


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